Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I can count

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Why do narcissists keep calling on the phone after years of separation?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Why do subpar women think that they are nines and tens?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Have you ever seen a woman having sex with a dog?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why do some people enjoy being dominated?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

What are the possible reasons for people feeling depressed after the holiday season? Why does being alone exacerbate these feelings?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

What's the biggest myth about illegal immigrants?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Is it ethical for same-sex couples to raise children?

I see through liars

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

How do you relax?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

The doctor said 'be happy.' Music therapy can help cancer patients do that - NPR

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Why are people of mixed race seen as more attractive than non-mixed-race people?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I can read

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center